*“I want the money, money and the cars, cars and the clothes, the hoes, I suppose, I just wanna be, I just wanna be successful” as Drake put it. I am certainly not against creating a quality life, complete with all of the trappings you’ve earned and desire, if that’s your cup of tea. As a matter of fact, always be authentic to you.

However, having seen journeys to the life we lust, I am concerned that we are getting way too caught up on the surface. I’m not even sure if individuals fully understand why they want these things, except that it looks good and what other people will believe about them if they have them.

These messages create a lust for something we don’t actually know. This life is rarely satisfying and often times leaves people unfulfilled after they’ve spent so much time daydreaming and compromising to get it. The key to finding a Life to Love is understanding your authentic self, your motivations and what you want your life to look like.

I’m sure if we took a moment to think about it, we all have a vision of what we expect and want from our lives. The money and the cars, cars and clothes can sometimes bring more stress than happiness. Many get there and wonder why everyone changed; if their “friends” are there because they want to be, and if they will ever be able to trust people’s motives. The most interesting thing to me about the life we lust for is that it is actually an unknown. We didn’t really come up with it or define it for ourselves. It was suggested to us and on the surface, it looks great.

The life we lust for also usually includes what we don’t already possess. If we’re married, we watch the single people and want out. If we’re single, we want to be paired up with someone. If we live in a house we once loved, we now want the house we saw on cribs. If we are home on a Friday night enjoying our family, we want to be walking a red carpet in Hollywood.

In the life we lust, women may think Trey Songz will actually love them so well that they would think he invented sex or that Boris would take them “Undercovers”. Men may believe that Halle could bury all their past hurt with her beauty and kindness, or that they could keep up with Kim Kardashian. It sure seems like it could happen, on the surface.

The life you lust or a life to love. Can you have both?

Monica Cost is communications strategist, brand manager and respected corporate and motivational speaker. She is the President and Founder of Evidently Assured, a brand & talent management firm.  Email her at:  [email protected]. Follow her via Twitter: @monicacost and Facebook.com/monicahairstoncost.