Veronica Hendrix

*This year has streaked by, literally. Even my youngest son remarked that 2010 has vanished in front of his very eyes.

He’s right and somewhat sobered at this reality because he’s not accomplished what he resolved to do when the clock struck midnight 12 months ago.  He blames it on the indulgence of youth. I attribute it to his youthful insipience that time is a renewable resource. But that’s another discussion completely.

With the new year upon us, visions of New Years’ resolutions are dancing in our heads. Most people never seem to keep them, despite their best intentions. And making resolutions are as perfunctory as they are obligatory to distinguish the old year from the new year; to make a clean break from the past and make a promise about the future. A new year just has that affect on us.

The thought of making yet another New Years’ resolution has lost its luster and enchantment for me. I don’t know if it’s the state of our nation or my station in life. But what I do know is that it’s time to get real and come out of denial about our lives so we make resolutions that are relevant and relative.

When I mentioned this posture to my son, he said, “Mom, I know a lot of people who could benefit from that advice.” I told him I was actually thinking about him in that he needs to get real and come out of denial about the fact that he squanders time as a way of life  because he doesn’t respect it and complains when he run out of it or up against it. As you could imagine, he got a little defensive as that shoe was slipped on his foot.

He then turned and asked me, “Well, what is it that you need to get real and come out of denial about that could change your life?” I rather expected that retort because after all, he is my son.

“It’s that having a life’s partner is really important to me. And while love is a gamble, I am ready to bet on someone and get out of the game.” His eyes widened, then froze in place. Apparently this was not the answer he anticipated because I’ve never been that honesty with him or for that matter myself.  Yet being honest about this has changed my point of view going into the new year and my fears have been assuages.

As we go into the new year, surely there is something you need to get real and come out of denial about .If you are truly honest, what would some of those things be? Try a few of these on for size:

  • You are not simply overweight you are obese and your health is slowing declining.
  • You are a caregiver who hasn’t given much care to yourself and it shows.
  • You are living beyond your means and the tipping point is dangerously imminent.
  • Permissive parenting has adversely impacted your child and your relationships.
  • You are depressed or battling an addiction and need professional help.
  • You need God in your life.
  • Chronic procrastination is derailing your life and deferring your dreams.
  • You need to make amends for something or forgive someone.
  • You need to give because so much as been given to you.
  • You need to let go of something or someone right now.

This is a just a short list to jump start your thinking. I could go on. But you get the idea. It’s been said, “Denial is a river you can drown in.” Perhaps this is the year to stop drowning and come out of denial about your life, who you are, where you are, what direction you are headed, what you need, and what you need to take responsibility for. It takes brutal and heart-felt honesty to face reality, and courage to change the way you do life once the veil of denial has been lifted. If you’re pondering a New Years’ resolution, perhaps you need to look no further than the issues floating in the river of denial.

(If you have comments about Veronica’s View, email them to [email protected])