*The year is still new. All the chatter about New Years’ Resolutions has been enough to make my head spin. At the checkout line the talk ensues between two strangers. Patrons in my favorite restaurant, sitting at the table adjacent to mine, muse about their requisite resolutions. And while running at the park, a fellow runner huffs and puffs a litany of resolutions into the earpiece of his phone – of which running was one of them.
I’m just not into it – that is making resolutions this year. My piece last week pretty much summarizes where I stand on that.
Sure I thumbed my nose at making any resolution. But apparently, bigger notions loomed in my mind and they literally nuzzled me out of a dead sleep the other night.
Like a slide show my mind began playing back the accomplishments of 2010. It was mostly good.
Then slowly those slides morphed into snapshots of the past 10 years and I could feel myself smile in my sleep as pictures raced through my mind of purchasing my first house after my divorce; watching my oldest son graduate from college; launching my writing career, buying my first luxury car; celebrating a milestone birthday; getting my product picked up by two retail outlets and there were so many more, too numerous to recount.
There were some missteps to be sure, bad relationships and somber moments too, ones that my slumbering spirit reconciled under sovereignty of God.
The last decade has been defining on so many levels and my subconscious mind needed to mark that by calling forth some of the most indelible memories of the past
Then sudden my unconscious mind did something unexpected – it flashed forward in an attempt to preview or perhaps project the next decade of my life because 2011 not only marks the beginning of a new year but the beginning of a new decade.
That is when my eyes flipped open and I sat straight up in bed with my eyes peering into utter darkness; the bulb in my night light had apparently burned out.
“A new decade?” I said as my words pierced the darkness. I reached over and turned on the night lamp and propped several pillows up against my old-world, wrought iron headboard. It was clear I was going to be up for awhile to meditate on this.
“This is the decade my life will change markedly,” I whispered. “This is the decade I will retire from my full-time job. This the decade that the business I launched last year will flourish. This is the decade my sons will marry. This is the decade I will become a Nona – because they are not calling me grandma.”
“This is the decade that my years of writing essays and commentaries totaling over 10,000 hours (see Malcolm Gladwell’s book The Outliers to understand this reference) will catapult my brand,” I said with a confident smile.
“This is the decade that I will finally settle down with a life’s partner because the time is right and the stars are aligned and I mean it this time,” I laughed nervously.
I stilled myself at the realization that this could also be the decade that those around me may not always be around me. Some are up in years and life is by nature finite.
I didn’t like that part at all.
I got up, went into the bathroom, turned on the light and looked squarely into the mirror.
“This is the decade I will pray more, love more, share more, give more, live more, reach more, trust more, believe more, forgive more, sing more, dance more, travel more, and play more. I declare that this will be the decade of more.” I said to the woman in the mirror. I winked at her and she winked back.
Exhausted and exhilarated, went back to my bed, brushed the bed pillows aside and snuggled under the covers. I closed my eyes tight and made God this promise: I will do what I can if you do what I cannot. I will do what is possible if you will do the impossible. Drifting slowly back to sleep, it all felt well with restless soul.
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