*Hey, we are all for you doing the celebratory dance following a long four years of bustin’ your butt in high school. You probably really pushed the limits in your senior year, repeating those classes where your grades really sucked; and burning the midnight oil cramming for those finals.
So of course you’re going to go a bit crazy when graduation day comes and they call your name:
Quintin Levon Murphy!
You do a gallant trot up to the front like a proud stallion. Once you reach the stage, you accept your hard-earned diploma and shake the hand of a very studious looking administrator. You turn to acknowledge the cheering audience of your peers and your family.
You’re thinking “Wow! This totally rocks!” Then, in a moment of sheer excitement and joy you…
(Sound of screeching car here)
Take off your clothes?
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