*Jennifer Hudson says she’s unable to watch footage of her poignant performance at the Super Bowl last year because it revives too many raw emotions.

J-Hud took the stage at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans to perform America the Beautiful with a choir of students from Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut, who had been at the center of a massacre just months earlier.

Hudson was still grieving for her mother Darnell Donnerson and brother Jason, who were shot dead at their home in Chicago, in 2008. Lining up with the Sandy Hook children to sing at the event was almost too much to bear.

“I was not very present at all any of that time. It felt like a dream. I haven’t watched it back, because those moments send you back to a certain place and that’s a place I don’t want to go back to,” she tells The Observer Magazine.

Gunman Adam Lanza killed 20 young students and six adult members of staff in a rampage at Sandy Hook in December, 2012.