friendship-640You never know when or from where your life lessons will come.

Recently, I met my close girlfriend for a weekend chick-flick. On my way to the movie, I was running late, as usual. My girlfriend, Mo, who’s a stickler for time, was waiting for me. She knew I’d be late and her point was, “I know how you are so I just bought a later ticket for us.” In that moment, I had an epiphany: Girlfriends don’t try to change each other. If anything, we will offer a helping hand when needed or we accept one another as we are and we figure out how to have a strong relationship, despite the flaws and failures.

Big question: Why can women accept each other “as is,” but when it comes to men, we are always trying to change them? Perhaps if more women approached their relationships with men with an accepting heart instead of trying to reconstruct them, both parties would spend more time simply enjoying each other’s company.

The Lesson: I’m not suggesting women compromise what we want or need. I’m saying that if you recognize who a person is, you will decide how he should be involved in your life.

The beautiful grace of that experience with Mo is that she knows me, and she made the adjustment. We still had a great time. Honestly, I don’t easily extend that same grace, especially to the opposite sex. I’m not proud, but I am being real and direct. We all need to do better.

Think about it and tell me your thoughts. Do we as women extend men the same grace we give our girlfriends?

Best Selling Author & Producer Deya “Direct” Smith writes and produces commentary for your heart, mind and soul. She is also a producer for the Tom Joyner Morning Show, a motivational speaker, actress and social commentator and can be reached at

Join her Man Whisperer Meet Up on Saturday, January 2, 2016 in Dallas.

Sign up for her Fab-U-List newsletter to get exclusive content and personal coaching.
Twitter, Instagram and Periscope: @DeyaDirect
Facebook: @Fly and Fabulous Women of Purpose
YouTube: DeyaDirectTV