Kenya Moore*Kenya Moore is still trying to heal from being abandoned as a child by her mother, and “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” star is opening up about the trauma in an upcoming memoir titled, “Invisible.”

Moore has released the first 42 pages of her memoir, in which she painfully described the rejection she experienced from her birth mother.

“There it was again, the sweet melody quality of her voice,” Moore wrote, describing a phone call between she and her mother that took place when she was 4. “It was mild and soothing. When she spoke, she did not yell or scream. Instead, she released the words in a steady, easy manner: ‘I am not your mother. You can never call me your mother, and you can’t come over here anymore.’”

Moore goes on to credit her grandmother for providing her with a loving, well-rounded upbringing.

“I clearly understand that I owe my life to [my grandmother]. I could have been in a home being abused. Instead, God looked out for me and gave me a family and love”—but she was never able to shake the sense of abandonment that stemmed from her mother who refused to claim her.

“I would infrequently visit the Moores [my mother’s family] against my mother’s wishes, often to see my favorite cousin Tamica, who was becoming a big sister to me,” Moore wrote. “Everyone in the Moore house treated me normally except for my mother.”

Kenya won Miss Michigan USA in 1993 at age 22, and then became the second African American woman to win Miss USA. Moore has been a co-star on RHOA since its 2012 fifth season premiere, and last year she was a contestant on “Celebrity Apprentice” season 7.

Additionally, she founded the Kenya Moore Foundation, a charity which awards scholarships to underprivileged girls from her highschool alma mater.

Click here to read more from Moore’s memoir.

h/t: Madame Noire