*During her recent appearance on OWN’s “It’s Not You, It’s Men,” with Tyrese and Rev Run, Iyanla Vanzant confessed that she has no desire to ever marry again because such a union is not an equal partnership.
“Here’s the thing, relationships are not where we go to have fun,” she said. “Relationships are where we go to heal and where we go to learn. And who you’re going to attract is the person that’s going to bring to the forefront the thing you need to learn or heal or the thing that’s going to help you grow the most.”
Vanzant wed Adeyemi Bandele in 1997, and was married to Charles Vanzant from 1973–1979. She was born Rhonda Harris, but changed her name when she was in her late 20s, and has since inspired countless with her no-nonsense life advice.
“You know what? I would not be a great wife based on the definitions and the standards of today. I’m a great partner because I see my partner as my equal,” she said on the show.
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During a stop in Detroit over Valentine’s Day weekend, Vanzant discussed the “effects of love, healing, forgiveness and becoming a natural woman” – and she also encouraged women to do what brings them joy.
“Find the things that make you happy. And when you’re happy, someone will come to bring you more happiness and share in your happiness,” she explained to Rolling Out. “When you’re down and dragging don’t nobody want to be bothered with you.”
“One of things that happens in our relationships is we either pick up somebody who needs our help or pick up somebody that can help us,” the TV talk host told Tyrese and Rev. Run. “Love and pure relationship and commitment can only exist among equals. Cause if I see you as less than, I can’t commit. If I see you as more than I can’t commit. So today, I’m looking for an equal. And I don’t want to be a wife. I want to be a partner. Because wives have to do stuff that I’m not doing.”
Check out a clip below of her appearance on the show below.