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R&B Singer Tank recently uploaded a video to one of his social media accounts encouraging men to experience getting their booty eaten like groceries.
“Aint nothing wrong with getting your salad tossed”, he says.
This disturbs me.
Look, I get it, in the midst of passion we all get a little carried away sometimes. I tend to believe that everyone has an inner-freak just waiting to be unleashed by the right partner (and some of us are just freaky by nature). But ladies, if your man enjoys the following seven activities in bed, then my guess is that he’s probably on the down low, or just straight up gay. Check it out:
He Prefers Anal Sex More Than Vaginal Penetration
We live in a highly sexual world and people appear to be more comfortable with their sexuality now than ever before. As a result, anal sex is no longer taboo or frowned upon in modern society. However, ladies, think back, does your boyfriend go straight for the backdoor whenever you have sex? If that’s the case, then you might wanna do some investigation. There’s nothing wrong with him wanting to poke the “other” hole every now and then, but if your vagina is an afterthought to him, the you might be smacking bellies with one of ‘dem down low brothas. And if he’s an ex-con that prefers anal, then run away — fast.
He Likes When You Sodomize Him With Your Finger
Do I really have to explain this one? If you’ve ever watched the comedy Top Five, then you witnessed Rosario Dawson’s character finger f*cking her boyfriend’s butthole to oblivion. He even sang the chorus of a Jay Z song while she was doing it. As it turned out, ol boy was on the down low and even had a side piece. He was also a white guy — so maybe that had something to do with it (cause they nasty). So, ladies, if you’re dating a n*gga who enjoys the feeling of your index finger lodged between his asscheeks, that’s probably a red flag.
He Likes His Salad Tossed
Now, ladies, if you enjoy licking ass (which is next level freaky) and your partner agrees to share that experience with you, then I’m guessing you have nothing to be concerned about — he’s just going along with your fetish. There’s nothing wrong with a little experimentation. However, if you walk into the bedroom and he’s already on all fours, waiting for you to give his anus some tongue action, or if he grabs his ankles and raises his legs while you’re licking from the top position, then sweetheart, your boyfriend is secretly on the pink team. Repeat after me: “Y-M-C-A.”
He Enjoys Being Dominated
Ima keep this one short. Ladies, if your man is straight, then he’ll only allow you to be the dominant one every now and then when you have sex. Don’t get me wrong, most guys enjoy laying back and allowing the woman to do her thing, but that’s usually after they’ve set the tone. If he follows your lead during EVERY sexual encounter, it could be a sign that he would rather feel the rough, powerful hands of a man on his secretly gay body. And one last thing, if he moans louder and more often than you do, that may not be an indication of how good you are per se. It’s possibly a sign that he enjoys being in a submissive position (like women do).
He Likes Dressing In Women’s Clothes When You’re Role Playing
Ladies, don’t be confused by this one. There’s nothing wrong with spicing things up with a little role playing, especially after years of being together and suffering through an inevitability predictable sex life. But when he wants to get kinky and wear your naughty nurse’s outfit, that should worry you — a lot. Granted, we live in a world where an increasingly growing number of males, young and old, have begun to experiment with cross dressing. It’s becoming the norm. But that doesn’t justify your 220 pound boyfriend wearing fishnet stockings and a G-string to bed. Even if he passes it off as a joke, don’t be fooled — he’s gay.
He Enjoys Using Toys Shaped Like A Penis
If your partner fits this category, then he’s either gay or one kinky dude. But let’s be honest, it’s probably NOT option number two. If he’d rather use a dildo instead of his own penis to satisfy you, it’s more than likely because he’s not really attracted to a woman’s sexual organs (otherwise he’d want to use the toy in his pants). Besides, if he’s fascinated by objects that resemble a man’s genitals, that’s kind of a red flag. Just sayin.
He Likes Having Threesomes With You And Other Men
Here’s a test. If you give him the option of bringing someone extra into your bedroom, and he chooses one of his male friends, or more disturbingly, one of your’s, that’s probably not a good thing. If this ever happens, don’t waste time wondering why — he’s gay.
The Black Hat is written by Southern California based Cory A. Haywood, a freelance writer and expert on Negro foolishness. Contact him via: [email protected] and/or visit his blog: corythewriter.blogspot.com, or send him a message on Twitter: @coryahaywood